I am now in a very very confused state. I have no idea what I have been chasing after all this time. I mean I do know what I chased after all this time but I just dont understand why I'm somehow not so into it anymore. From the beginning I acknowledged that this will somehow wear me down; the whole chase thingy. 1 can only love another person for as long as there is interaction (the very reason why its best you keep on talking to the girl as long as she wants to talk to you after a breakup if you're still into her). So to me, I would think that as long as you can understand that love is the chemistry of the brain, I wont fall prey to the physiological body circuit. Its been 2 years. And although I do know that if she accepts me back I will still be willing to work it out, is true love really like that? I was played and although I forgave, I started to see why you wont feel the same after all this events. The phrase there are more fishes out there then starts to make sense. I mean you've gotta understand, I know all this things theoratically. And I'm a person who acts based on my understandings of the theory and knowledge. At times it sounds just like a game plan and although I know that its not games which I am playing, I cant 100% convince myself I'm not plotting anything either. How is this related to the problem? Well if love is a game, then after you lose all you have to do is wait to respawn back into the game then go give it another shot. This ultimately makes you hooked on into it. Love is no longer sacred which is something I believe in especially when you've found the 1 you truly love. I'm a person who doesnt fall in love at easily. I dont look at the cute hottie and give it a try and get into a relationship, in fact, I dont even wanna be involved at times! So for a girl to somehow come into my life and by fate make me fall from head to heels for her......I do know she is the 1 I love. But then again its my first relationship so I was naive and inexperience bout certain things. Reading back on the stuff I've wrote, it clear that I am naive back then. Anyways, the question at hand now is whether true love really ture love when its now no longer feeling like true love or is it just the lack of neurons in my brain due to infrequent firing of neuron cells? Or am I just having a complex?
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